Yesterday I was sitting in Mass thinking about the word qua. There may not be a less used three letter word in English. That’s not true. Not many people take their aba out of the closet before they head to the cwm.
Qua is a tricky little Latin word that’s used with symmetry: the same word goes on either side of it anytime you see it. Nearly always sandwiched. Art qua art. Philosophy qua philosophy. Pencil qua writing implement. It’s a simple way to reference the core essence or being of something. The Latin translates to “as” or “in the capacity of”.
So why was I thinking about it during Mass yesterday?
Because in the world of 2024 everything is so damn performative and we need some help to really track to the things we want. These days, if it isn’t recorded and distributed on the internet and acclaimed and applauded with hearts and high-fives and all those godforsaken thumbs then it didn’t even really happen.
Worse yet, if it does get some feedback it becomes more important. The poster gets a rush and wants more of that and leans in This is known as audience capture and it is terrifying. Not just because of the really outlandish examples like Nikocado Avocado (although yes, that’s really bad), but because it can affect all of us in much smaller ways.
Qua is at least part of the answer to defeating this. We can manipulate the word just a bit, make it subjective, and ask: what do you want to do or to be when nobody is looking? What drives you without any feedback loop from others? Without caring or thinking about how this will look or fit into your reels or tweets or likes? What is anti-mimetic about your goals and desires?
I’m fascinated by gravestones and what they can tell you about the past and the people that lay In the ground. They’re a constant reminder that for all the piles of stuff and the journeys that make up a life, in the end we come back to a fairly consistent set of statements that mean enough that we engrave them in stone: “Beloved father, husband, son, friend.” These things are constant.
But I’ve got to say that Ludwig Boltzmann makes a statement with his stone. It simply reads: ”S = k log W”. This is the Boltzmann Equation, describing the nature of certain thermodynamic systems. This is physics qua physics. This dude was in it.
There is no better place to think about this than during a spoken Mass or in an empty church, but if that’s not your thing than find another analog, quiet, peaceful place. No distractions. Try to defeat Pascal’s challenge that man cannot sit quietly alone. And then figure out what is important for it’s own sake.
I’ll tell you some of mine but only the obvious ones:
Reader qua reader. I just really enjoy reading. It’s what I do when I have time and bandwidth to spend on myself.
Strong qua strong. Strength for its own sake.
Writer qua writer.
I’m not totally sure about that last one actually. I think often about the difference between the desire to write and the desire to have written. This is an ongoing question but it’s one I’ve come back to for years now. I struggle with constructing the time and space necessary to do the writing. I love playing with ideas, but after years I still don’t know if this struggle is a sign of constant desire or pure human failing. Or both.
But I aim to find out every morning at 6am.
So get on with it. The things you want to do when nobody is looking - for their own sake - are where your identity lies.
Sustained great work often demands enjoying the process for its own sake rather than only feeling joy in the end result. Time is mostly spent between results, and hard to keep pushing yourself to get to the next level if you’re not having fun while doing so. -Greg Brockman
I am not here to complain about cancel culture. Brendan Eich does not. He is too busy. He refuses to be defined by the evil done to him, or by the purported heterodoxy of his beliefs, but by the work he does and by his character, as known by those closest to him.
Rather than taking to the airwaves and leaning into the role of martyr, as have so many others who have endured similar abuse, Eich never speaks publicly about the wrong done to him—not once even in private to me. Instead, he diligently pursues his vocation. -Andrew Beck